Monday, April 8, 2013

I failed to stop the tears.

Assalamualaikum dan alam sejahtera.

"Do you get any call for scholar?"

"Get any email from petronas or felda or bla bla?"

"Have you check the shortlisted?"

"Get any interview for scholar?"

Oh Allah what kind of questions huh? You wants me to down again or what? If you wants me to down. Yes you won it. Congrates !! I really dont get what you mean by all this quetions. Ive tried everyday to cheer up my day cause everything now is just my past. But i really dont get it. I know you got it all. Im happy for you. Im always pray the best for you. Congrates. I just don't know you wants me to get frustrated or you just doesn't mean to get me down or  you just wants me to fall so you can be happy now cause you won and im lost. huh? Tell me beb.

 And the answers for those question : I just get call to go for taklimat. Those swasta college call. Many kolej swasta yang konon tawaran biasiswa. A lot of letter that i turn it into pieces. Everyone who got perfect score might be just relax and chill and just waiting for offers. By the way congrates Shin and Afiqah for the Biasiswa Nasional. Proud of you both. Two from the only 50 people in Malaysia. You guys are awesome!

Successful people. I wish I'll be one of them. InsyaAllah my future children.

Oh Allah, aku serahkan semuanya kepadaMu. Aku hambaMu yang lemah. Tiada kekuatan untuk berdiri bangkit semula. Oh Allah, kenapa sukar yaa amat sukar bagiku. Ampunkan dosaku Ya Allah. Hanya kepadamu aku memohon. Amin.

Everyone talking about scholarship and offer. And i just can look on their joy faces. I shouldn't have this feeling right? I have to accept the fact and fate. Fact that im not the lucky person. Fate that Allah have planned everything for a reasons.

I keep waiting for any miracale happen to me. Someday a young pretty lady, wearing the pink dress with her magic wand in her hand. In just one spell and everything will change. How i wish that. To live in the fairytail world. Everything is magic.Or could i just be Fara in my spm english essay. The character i made it who then happily ever after with her prince charming who gives her a bag of jewellery, Huh but sadlife i'm just in my daydreaming. But one day ill go to my dreamworld. who knows right?

Bring me there, to the new world !! So i would worry free to think about my future and my past. Having some fun. Playing with fairy every secands. riding my price charming horse. Riding to the castle. Eating the best food with just one click. Oh my Allah. Aku ingin sekali merasai Syurgamu. Oh Allah ampunkan dosaku. Oh Allah dikaulah yang Maha Agung setiap kalam Mu adalah yang paling menenangkan jiwaku. Allahhuakbar.

Sorry for this emotion entry. I just need to express how i feel. I just need the strength. I need to getup. I need someone to share. Blog even good to share right? But the truth is i need someone to get me up and wipe all my tears away. Till then love Aisyah.

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