The other side of the world - indepedency

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone!

Here I am again, to write some kinda great and interesting as for me lah. Its not something related with the life journey and staff, but its more toward some lil bit great stuff back in 90s and 20s. I was born in 1995, so I was like so called gen y, so i am not really expose to those underground or well people call its independency stuff. But first of all, i got this idea to write from thinker studio, go check out their you tube channel. They make an awesome vid like legit onz nak mam. So one of their buruk/cantik seg video is collaborated with tapau.tv (go google them like right now peeps!)

They basically talk about what is indie. Oh my god, its seriouslly brings back all the memories. As a gen y, i kinda not know that actually indie had been here in Malaysia long time ago. But i first encounter with indie sort of is the Kami. Legit best gile.

From there I start to listen to all kind of indie music, which at that time people were start talking about it. If i can recall all the songs like lailas lounge-mawar khayalan, which was actually the ost for Kami. Then go for hujan, bittersweet, estrella, couple, meet uncle hussain, the time. For f sake, i love all the songs until now. But fortunately, i was to young to realize there are lot of other incredible bands out there. Yaa, what do you expect a ten and eleven years old kid would do that time tho. Internet pun buat play barbie online tho. I still remember that time my ex asking me my fav songs, it was like couple- tentang kita 

Guys should listen to this song!!!

 All is my favorite band. Then this trend seem fade away. i was enter my highschool then its all sudden be faded away from my mind. Like i been busy with all other stuff, then adanya blog ni and stuff. So the era move and moves until now 2017. So the trend was about start on 2007, it almoste ten years ago tho. Then today, people are more on hipster tapi sampah je semua tu. It more lioke it become trend yang sampah. Then I came across thinker studio which bawak i ke tapau tv and guess what i found out more abot this indie. And it wassss really awesome to know that this endependency community, so called its actually are become bigger. Like it was actually memnag big pun dari zaman dulu, it just that i do not figure it out je which i rasa now pun byk lagi i tak figure it out pun. 

They like having those local gig like every months, having kinda of fest and support local brands. This kind  local brands is being trends in early 2017, lot of t-shirts brands and ada kilang bateri kat JB. All local product become bigger, like we are not talking about those  sort of high end (duck scarves, fv, mimpi kita) Im not expected back in 2000s tu these indie is producing the awesome magazine which i just figure it out in tapau tv like desiderata and junk. Its a malaysian production beb

Im totally shook babes. If and only if i know it dulu gonna buy it. But i was a lil kid who actually know to cry and eat hahaha. But sadly truth they are not produce it anymore kan, because everything on degital, who the fuck want to buy printed now like Komik Ujang yang dah takde jugak now. But if they produce it im sure gonna but it. But I heard that now pun ada lagi magazine they produce but yknow its only localize, and they sell 'underground". Lately ni pun i know ramai gakl the kids start to go gig, which i found out kat instagram and also they wentto fest tu. But masa i tghk mcm eleh you ni gi mana ni. but i was wrong, admit it, and now i nak pergi gig and feel it. What they call l\scene langgar2 tu, mosh. Haha, idk man.

Now yang baru i figure out there are lot of other band, indie band. Yang i currently love is bil musa-terbang! superb legit best gile. And others like takahara suhiko and banyak lah lagi. Everything was just wow. Oh ya, if nak tahu more just go check tapau tv and if nak yang kat mainstreem which is tv, boleh layan alternative by thinker production and pengacara yaya.  im gona make more research tho! and plus this local awesome artisan make good art, painting and what i like most is poem and puisi!! would die for listen to all the poem. and not to forget eh i love all the art like teater! and drama yang mindfuck and oh ya recently fav telefilem charlie, cristina suzane is da bombz. Onz nak mampus. 

But do i really an indie or it was actually a trend? idk bacause at the same time i like to play act and be as style as vivy, nisha and faa? and sometime cupcake aisyah? ummm, idk man. i have serious problem with identity. Its like my other side of self. I was like in my other world tho when its come to indie, art, puisi stuff, Idk. Well i think what people said that at the age of 20s, theres lot of cross path, and you gotta choose wisely. Ummm. But after all, tak kisah lah apa apa pun kind you nak dress up, music you nak dengar ke and art you suka ke janji tak langgar aturan Allah! Till then echa!

ps : actually i have lot of things i wanna said about this but nvm its enough for me to jot something before anything in my mind hilang hehe bye!

Deep thought.

 

At the age of 22, making a life decision is one of the toughest things I have to do. I cant even know what future holds for me. It seem everything not fall into its place. Everything is wrong, ya wrong. Mistake after mistake. Hurts after hurts. You cant do nothing unless accept it. Even it smells bad, it taste bad. What you have to do is accept it.

They don’t actually want to listen. In return from everytime I told, hurt. The scenario of being hurt keep on replay up in there. I think I was an unplanned child they accidently have. Or its just my degree is not on medic line?  I know I was a bad child, but do I deserve this? Idk, you judge yourself dear future me.

I was offered to continue my studies in ICSA in uitm again. The course/line/field studies that they don’t know it was there in this fucking world. So one week before the registration, I do cancel the offer (the offec only for fucking 28 students!) and continue living under the same roof with them. I do cut off all my dreams (even my nafsu sbb i dah takde duit now), all and everything I dreamt of. For the good sake of everyone.  Am I doing the right decision? Fill up to continue studies in MBA also just a halfway through because for the sake of every fucking people in this world. 

Rezeki from Allah is beyond you can imagine, it all about timing and readiness. If you cant even give back what He wants, then who are you to get what you want. The plan after plan is change. The future line is still on the growth part, still under construction. Looking everyone of my colleague get the job they want already make my self even worst stress and mess. Idk. 

Make dua and never give up. One day, the day will come. The economy will be much more stable. You will survive. Self, you should not give up, cause champion never stop, girl. The time will come, and you will get the job. Life is not a race after all, it’s just a journey where everyone’s road is different. And wasn’t is be more true than life is like a wheel, and im now on site hitting the roads down there for just to make it move. Be though dear self. You will get there. After all, on this road called life, you have take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. Or ada mana-mana duda handsome kaya nak jadikan I isteri? I sudi. 

The more you wake up, the more you realize everything that’s happening is a sign. Books open at the right place when you’re beginning to become awake. You can be saved by messages you read in the sign of the road. You can be illumined by somebody sitting next to you in a bus and humming a folk song that goes straight to the core of your problem, because the whole world is divine and these signs are flashing out everywhere. That is the key to awakening.

– Andrew Harvey

I am not ready to face everything. Till then, echa.